Sleep + Springtime

I miss her when she sleeps. 

Almost every night before I close my eyes, I lay under the covers with my iPhone in night mode and scroll through the thousands of images and videos of my happy girl. The trips we’ve taken, the simple moments at home, family love fests, her first this and that, smiles with dada.

The sleep deprived “me” of two months ago is rolling her eyes like I’m that mom.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m elated that she’s finally sleeping through the night. I did an invisible front-flip-back-handspring when I woke up after seven hours of uninterrupted snoozing.

I just feel this little tug of “something’s missing” whenever I’m not next to her. Will I feel this way forever? Is that why moms are so sad when their children go off to college? Now I’m really sad, why did I just go there?

In other news, spring is in the air and my excitement to travel and explore is in overdrive.

As soon as March hits, like clockwork, I suddenly and impulsively find myself booking trips. Almost like an addiction, I get this high knowing I’ll rekindle with my vacation-self soon.

Traveling with Maisley is different, but also has a new level of enjoyment (like most things in motherhood).  She got her wings at three months old on a trip to Seattle. I fed her on the way up and down, otherwise she slept most of the time.

I think our upcoming trips to Portland and San Francisco will be easier and harder in different ways. Easier because she’s more of a human at 8 months, and harder because I literally don’t think she fits into her “nimble nook” Pack ‘n Play anymore.

Regardless of the challenges, I’m actively committed to soaking up every minute with Maisley.

Because in a few fast months, the images from these trips will too become part of the memory montage on my dimmed iPhone screen.

P.S. I thought sleeping through the night would significantly help with my mental clarity throughout the day. However, yesterday, when I was trying to pay our gas bill online, my credit card wouldn’t work. I tried four times and then called my husband in frustration. Turns out I was inputting our zip code from 2012.

Maybe mom brain is permanent and the lack of sleep was just a good excuse.

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A Little Baby Tooth

Maisley has managed to sprout not one, but two baby teeth in the last month.

I can’t even explain my excitement when that first tooth popped through. More than rolling over. More than her first bite of avocado. Even more than crawling.

“Ryan, can you see it?!”

“No seriously, come feel it, it’s so sharp, it’s right there!”

For some reason, her first tooth has been the most exciting milestone to me. Something about it feels monumental.

This tooth will be part of her smile that so brightly lights up any room we enter. She will go to preschool with this tooth. She will bite into a juicy strawberry and a seed will get stuck in this tooth.

Her personality seems more gritty with a tooth. Her gums are punctuated with these little bits of spunk. It matches her wild and roaring nature.

One day she’s going to wriggle that baby tooth loose, and it’s going to fall out, only to be replaced by a larger, more mature tooth. I’m not sure the going rate, but it’s got to be worth close to a dollar by the time the tooth fairy gets a hand on it.

Our little baby’s teeth are growing in. She’s growing up. I can’t stop it, so I’ll just get weirdly excited about it.

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(Unfortunatly you can’t see teeth in this picture because she won’t let me show them.)