Category: motherhood

  • Birth and Death, Breath by Breath

    My knees met the floor at the side of my bed in desperation, exhaustion. Ironically, the same place I bowed down to birth, I found myself surrendering to grief. In anger and tears, I had lost all strength. The pain was too much. As time recklessly and graciously ticked on, the swell passed. When I […]

  • The Ocean’s Faithful Student

    The breath is where it all begins and where it all ends. It comes naturally some days and others like an unwilling daughter at nap time. It’s where we find our peace and it’s the safest path to our intuition. It’s our first responder when shit hits the fan. The breath both reveals when we’re […]

  • We are MORE

    When we got home from the hospital on day one, the 8×10 mirror that had been hanging in our family’s living room for 20 years had fallen off the wall and shattered into a million pieces. Our hearts a reflection of the remnants on the ground. I remember desperately wishing that day for time to […]

  • Coming of Age

    There are so many things that can’t be put into words and so many other things that I wish I never had.  Maisley kept asking where Poppi was when we were celebrating his birthday dinner. She asked if he was going to come down from the sky now. I got halfway through my beautiful explanation […]

  • September

    “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.” – Paulo Coelho September is chock-full of change – new school year, Football season (eye-roll) and fall on the horizon. Grounded into the newness are lingering summer nights that leave me grasping for the memories and feelings of more carefree days.  […]

  • A Family of Our Own

    There’s only so much other people see; at the park, on a playdate, in a photo or through an Instagram page. It’s all real, but it’s only a part of our story. The intricacies, everything unfiltered, what we’re like in these four walls – that’s the nectar reserved just for us. The cheeky smiles before […]

  • Ara & Little Boy

    I used to think Maisley had an imaginary friend. Her name was Ara. She talked to her often; on long drives, in the kiddie pool, in bed. After months of inquiring about Ara and google searching the scale of normal for imaginary friends, I found out some other, arguably less disturbing news about who Ara […]

  • Double Standard 

    It’s so easy for me to see your failures as opportunities for growth. Your challenges as enviable badges of honor. Your beauty as beauty and potential as truth. Perspective and positivity come easy like a summer breeze. Who cares if your house is messy? Just because you lost your shit doesn’t mean you’re losing your […]

  • Already and Only Three

    Mommy, Don’t waste the water! I need to be alone. Can you stay with me? I want to wear my hair down. I only want a yummy snack. Let’s do a dance party! Will you play “Body Like a Back Road” with the windows down? This is called the “ocean back”. Can you clap for […]

  • Hard Days: A Road Map

    Overall I’m having more “good” days than “bad” days right now. After a string of good days, the bad ones still catch me off guard. Is it grief? Is it motherhood? Is it an aggro-crag of PMS? Is it just a hard day? My dedicated brain is always trying to understand and find an explanation […]