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Four
I twirled her silky hair around my finger while Ryan read, How to Catch a Mermaid. It looked like a chocolate and vanilla swirled cone. Like the ones we used to devour from McDonald’s after a long day at the beach.She’s beautiful and full of fire. I worry I won’t know how to be her mom sometimes. I worry about…
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Lessons from the Little Ones
The first hour or two of a long road trip is really just your mind scanning to see what you forgot. The car potty. Not the car potty. The good thing about road-tripping during a pandemic is that peeing on the side of the road feels mostly acceptable. Van patrol set off to Sacramento, CA, Crater Lake, OR, Hood River,…
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This Father’s Day
We went through your old things; report cards, photo books, trophies, letters. When you were 19 you noted that having an exciting life was a 1 of importance to you (18 being the least). I’d say it definitely wasn’t boring. Did you have any big ragrets? Not even a single letter? The back house smells of 24 and World Cup…
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Gardening
I ask God to pull out the roots of anxiety in my mind and body. When I close my eyes, I envision God taking the deep-seated roots, transforming the pain, fear and grief – into love – and planting a garden. A garden of vibrant color, warm sunshine, easy, deep breaths and nourishing beauty. A garden, ever-green and eternal.
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September
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.” – Paulo Coelho September is chock-full of change – new school year, Football season (eye-roll) and fall on the horizon. Grounded into the newness are lingering summer nights that leave me grasping for the memories and feelings of more carefree days. It’s officially September 2019 and…
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For Opa
For Ryan’s Grandpa, Fokko Nienhuis, remembered and loved in the vibrant memories of his family. Half a grapefruit livened with sugar for him, freshly squeezed orange juice for her. Oranje through and through, and starting in nineteen hundred and 47, he also bled red, white and blue. A welcoming host at home and at heart – Is everyone “goodso”? He threw…
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Wish You Were Here
As we sat eating dinner at Panama 66 in Balboa Park, the sun had just settled in for the night and the iconic Museum of Man tower was illuminated with purple and blue lights set against the dusky sky. The kids were happy and we were happy. It was one of those beautiful moments where you sink a little deeper…
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Of All The Things
Of all the things I want to tell him. All the places I want to go with him. All the memories I want to reminisce about. All the questions I want to ask him. All the Sunday breakfasts I want to eat with him. Of all the things, the thing I want to do most, A thousand times a day,…
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Golden Hour
8:25 pm. “Golden hour” for those of us in the parenthood. After 45 minutes of Maisley’s In-N-Out style bedtime routine, and a tiny turd of evidence that confirmed Coura’s constipation, both kids finally gave in to their weighted eyelids. Ryan is kicked back in his corner of the couch wearing a new robe from Christmas while laughing at a meme…
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Altered Latitude 