Altered Latitude

  • Jenna

    The Day She Was Born

    “Oh, and there’s one more thing,” I tenuously asked our future long-term Airbnb host. “I was wondering if you would be comfortable with us giving birth at your property?…I promise a home birth isn’t as messy as it might seem!” Her birth story is now a story. Something that actually happened and something I can share. For nine months I…

  • Jenna

    Mom & Dad

    Time is something we can never believe.Death is something we can never imagine.Yet both are hereCertainElements of lifeBurn you more than othersThe dark moments of parenthood…Was I even meant to be a mom? A dad?I don’t feel good at my name right nowMore like I’m drowning in survival tasks, unable to do the things I thought I would as a…

  • Jenna

    Poppi Stories

    Every night before bed, Maisley and Coura want to hear stories from when I was younger. I often tell Poppi stories because they make me happy and keep him alive in their tiny worlds. When this one came to me tonight, l desperately wanted to call him and reminisce, so instead I’m writing it here.  I remember so vividly that…

  • Jenna

    Conversations with myself and my tiny humans

    Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? Angry? Scared? Frustrated? Shame, fear, regret, disappointment, doubt; it’s all welcome here.  I see that you need a hug.  You don’t have to pretend or perform. You can be honest with me.   You are my priority.  I’m not going anywhere. Come here, come home, I see you.  I love you.  Let’s just be.

  • Jenna

    Knowings

    I know exactly what you’d be wearing. Where you’d be sitting. The suit you’d be sporting and one of three ties you’d be wearing. Who you’d be talking to. How your hands would be positioned and how you’d hold your drink. Those subtle moves on the dance floor. I know exactly how you’d smell and what you’d love and laugh…

  • Jenna

    She’s Out!

    I’m having a tough time distinguishing between what I said and what I thought; what I dreamt and what I did. In a matter of several beautiful, empowering, impossibly hard hours, I transitioned from being pregnant to postpartum, a baby in my womb to one on my chest.  Our world has instantly become a sleepless blur of sweet snuggles, talking…

  • Jenna

    Until Baby

    The girls got haircuts. We went to Leucadia Donuts, the local shop with windows covered in stickers. The car seats are installed; three in a row. We set up the birth room and then we set it up again. My altar of inspiration featuring Mother Mary, Jesus, Dadio, Surfing Madonna, Mary Magdalene, magical trees, the northern lights and a few…

  • Jenna

    Longings

    My longings are tugging again,asking for her to come out and play. The wild one.The spontaneous, change-craving one. The one whose time was all her own.The one who thought slow and simple was for the birds. The one who could effortlessly free fall into lovewithout the fearof losing.  Cocooned on the brink of new life,the longings sit and wait.To sit and wait,for the…

  • Jenna

    In Loving Memory

    The sting of seeing your photo still hits at odd timesHow did that frame become the closest my eyes will get to seeing you again?How did your name become something to memorialize rather than someone to call when my B.O.B. tire goes flat? We read the names and tributes on the benches at the beach:An awesome guy, friend and brotherA…

  • Jenna

    Just a Thought

    What if we lingered a little while longer? Awkward hands and dancing feet. Eyes locked on another person or a piece of ourselves that aches to be seen. What if we stayed in the discomfort, sat in hard conversations or with strange feelings to see what would happen next? What if lingering made the difference in a lasting friendship or…