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Poppi Stories
Every night before bed, Maisley and Coura want to hear stories from when I was younger. I often tell Poppi stories because they make me happy and keep him alive in their tiny worlds. When this one came to me tonight, l desperately wanted to call him and reminisce, so instead I’m writing it here. I remember so vividly that…
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Longings
My longings are tugging again,asking for her to come out and play. The wild one.The spontaneous, change-craving one. The one whose time was all her own.The one who thought slow and simple was for the birds. The one who could effortlessly free fall into lovewithout the fearof losing. Cocooned on the brink of new life,the longings sit and wait.To sit and wait,for the…
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In Loving Memory
The sting of seeing your photo still hits at odd timesHow did that frame become the closest my eyes will get to seeing you again?How did your name become something to memorialize rather than someone to call when my B.O.B. tire goes flat? We read the names and tributes on the benches at the beach:An awesome guy, friend and brotherA…
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To you, Dadio
Where are you? When I’m angry at you for leaving. When a shit-storm is passing through our family and the world. When the comfort of home is far out of reach. When I look through hundreds of recent photos and you’re not in one. When nothing makes sense, nothing goes right and grief rages on. When a beautiful baby boy…
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We are MORE
When we got home from the hospital on day one, the 8×10 mirror that had been hanging in our family’s living room for 20 years had fallen off the wall and shattered into a million pieces. Our hearts a reflection of the remnants on the ground. I remember desperately wishing that day for time to fast forward to a year…
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365 Days With My Dad
On the first day you left, I opened a new google doc and titled it: “365 days without my dad”. Every day since then you have proven me wrong. My gaze lingers longer than it should on the butterfly or the hummingbird. Is it you? What are you now? More of a feeling or a moment, rather than someone…
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Coming of Age
There are so many things that can’t be put into words and so many other things that I wish I never had. Maisley kept asking where Poppi was when we were celebrating his birthday dinner. She asked if he was going to come down from the sky now. I got halfway through my beautiful explanation about how we can’t feel…
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One More
One more song with the windows rolled down, One more trip to a bucket list town. One more beer, One more cheers. One more comforting hug, One more full-bodied laugh, One more finance chat. One more piece of advice, One more after-dinner orange slice. One more Bass Lake run, One more game of Yahtzee, anyone? One more visit to the…
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Triggers
I drove to Creative Mornings with mascara on, feeling brave and un-smudgeable. I met my friend and creative dreaming partner, Suzanne, coincidently twinning in a golden shirt, jeans and brown sandals. It was her birthday and the day before Coura’s birthday. I was feeling excited to hear some inspiring words on creativity. Five minutes into the presentation, the speaker started…
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Altered Latitude 