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More on Braving Joy
Nothing, other than grief, has taken me further from and also brought me closer to myself and the depth of human love than motherhood. I think that’s what they mean when they say, “Yeah, but it’s worth it!”. I am someone who relates to the world in a deep, larger-than-life way. My process is to […]
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Not Another Motherhood Post
I lay in bed and circle the pothole of guiltwondering if I’ll step into it tonight. Will bathing in the pit absolve me of my sins for the day?Tomorrow I’ll read more books, meal-prep sooner, do an art project, pay more attention to the middle one, draw with the big one and promise not to make […]
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When Breastfeeding Ends
I walk into Mara’s room at 6am as she’s gnawing on the side of the crib. Two other sets of teeth marks imprinted under her’s, tug on a contemplative thread in my heart, despite my sleepless daze. Her toothy smile stops me right in my tracks. I sit down to comfort feed her and I’m […]
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Rancho Grande
What I’m really asking when I inquire about staying at a remote farm on Airbnb: Am I safe to be still? Am I allowed to relax enough to hear the pigs snore? Do I deserve to rest? May I slow my body enough to move like the wind through the trees? Will I be able […]
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Mornings at the Bird House
Every morning, the three little birds would cuddle in their nest with mama bird and daddy bird before the day began. The morning golden sun would peek through the cracks and for a few quiet moments, all was warm and well. The oldest bird snuggled right up to mama. “How did you sleep my love?” […]
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Mara Love
Her small body on my chest is like a weighted comfort blanket in our dark room. All of my ambient thoughts are dissipated by the loud hum of the sound machine. How do you bottle a feeling?Her body flinching.Her lips softly smacking. Her booty perfectly lifted up by an invisible string from the sky.Her sweet fingers grazing […]
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Girl Dad
He confesses that he likes the pink door down the street. He wears crowns when asked and a suit and tie for the “big party”. He teaches all about Sally Ride.He’s a feminist in the purest version of the word, always has been. He takes time for a puzzle and explanations of the golden rule.He gives his girls […]
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Free Time
If you find yourself at Point Lobos State Reserve — Notice the way she sways like the luminescent kelp with the tide.How the waves sound like a meditation recording, gathering all of the stray pieces of her into one, whole, present witness of the moment. Take note of the knobs on the trees, they’ll see her exactly […]
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Tiny People in a Tiny House
*Written in February 2021 2020 felt like it ended with an ellipsis, to be continued. Answers I had hoped for personally and ones we had all hoped for collectively, still wandering about. We are living into the everyday, ordinary moments right now; stretching them out into an entire life. Ryan and I danced in the […]
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The Day She Was Born
“Oh, and there’s one more thing,” I tenuously asked our future long-term Airbnb host. “I was wondering if you would be comfortable with us giving birth at your property?…I promise a home birth isn’t as messy as it might seem!” Her birth story is now a story. Something that actually happened and something I can […]
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Altered Latitude 