Here are snippits from my journal entries throughout my experience in Oz:
Dazed and Confused. Today I was paralyzed with emotions. Literally walking around the city like a deer in headlights. I’m so sad about leaving everyone and wondering why I am doing this? Why did I have the desire inside myself to leave everyone and everything for an unknown world and adventure. I am scared, lonely wishing I had people I love around me.
Embrace Aloneness. “Feel things you never felt before”. Take in little things you wouldn’t notice with someone else’s opinion or input. Live in the moment and enjoy everything around you. Take in every emotion and feeling, and learn from it. Conquer that feeling. Independence= confidence.
End [Regret + Hope]
Home? Why did I leave? Should I have stayed longer? Why am I not happy here, but wasn’t fully happy there either? Why didn’t I put more thought into my decision to leave? My fear in life is missing out – missing out on experiences, meeting new people, understanding new perspectives, becoming more whole. The innovation, the excitement, the inspiration, the novelty, the beauty, the people [there]. I feel like I missed out, I gave up too soon. I wonder if this will ever go away? At first the prospect of something new and exciting shadowed those regrets however at this point in my existence my mind is clouded by this regret. I know there was a reason I left and I will be happy here…but it’s hard to see that purpose right now. Why doesn’t anyone really get it? What is wrong with me??
Little depressed by the end of the story? Don’t be! It gets better, I promise.
It’s time to make the last chapter in your adventure an easier transition filled with new relationships and a support system just like the one you created when you went abroad!